I never realise until I am there. Until I find myself feeling sick with disgust at my old interests and desperately seeking something to latch on to. If you know an autistic person, adult or child, know that the space between our passions is always terribly unsettling. Sometimes it feels bleak, for there is nothing to be excited about, nothing to dig in to. Sometimes it feels lonely, for we have lost our way of connecting with other humans. Sometimes it is scary, because we have taken away the only thing holding our mind tethered, keeping anxiety, or mania, or paranoia, or depression at bay.
Once upon a time, not very long ago at all, I saw my family's neurological, sensory, communication and developmental differences as 'issues' that needed interventions from clinicians. We were struggling daily as a family, and I thought that helping my children 'be OK in the world' would help us all. I did not believe that … Continue reading Why I permanently paused early intervention therapy for my children
I learned I was autistic in my 30s. Not long afterwards, I came across the word chameleon to describe how many autistic people change our communication, voice, interests, and actions to mirror the people we are with, or to fit in with the norms of a group. Looking back on the way I had survived … Continue reading Don’t shame us for being chameleon
Last year I developed a severe aversion to all products labelled 'sensory', 'autism' and 'disability' resources. What tipped me over? A string of cheap, plastic fidgets and sensory toys that broke, followed by an expensive crash mat that looked awful and split down the middle, and a special 'calming singlet' that turned out to be a tight, overpriced synthetic singlet....
I became a mother not knowing I was autistic. Surprisingly, it was the first time I was truly aware of how different I am to neurotypical women. In my 20s, I moved cities and left behind high-school friendships. I made choices to work and build friendships in social justice communities. By day I could work with … Continue reading autistic women, motherhood and friendship
I want to create a wellspring of stories to nourish other neurodiverse families, and show the world we exist, we have Pride, and we love and support one another in our own ways.